Sunday, October 12, 2008
oh wow. hello blog...long time no post.so exams over huh...now that i look back on them seem to have passed really fast. just few weeks ago i was telling myself better start studying and work hard if not its concamp...or get kicked out of ib. or worse.and suddenly, wham. now its all over and done with.ahh well...nothing i can do about my grades or anything now, is there. just go for concamp, work hard; by the grace of God maybe this time ill pass and pull through.and trainings started again...weirdly enough after one month plus...me and Andrew didnt suck, thank God. mr goh drops big big hint too...so looks like its C2 for us huh.by His grace, may we pull through that too.so maybe during the exam period, the stress and the pressure gets to me. im pretty sure it got to everyone...maybe others more serious than me, simply because maybe my academics didnt matter so much to me. but under such pressure, i guess the mind reasons with itself that, since its devoting its time an energy to such an ardious task, its only normal that it doesnt overstress our limited human capacity, and therefore proceed to slacken in other demanding aspects of life.to compensate. and "compensate" i did.under this pressure maybe i let standards drop for many things. for my training. for the way i acted towards many things, many different people. for myself, and my ideals. for my devotion to God and His covenant. giving in to vices and compromising what i thought i believed in, only for the sake of simplifying my task of existance, and then questioning that very belief itself, trying to dilute the fact that, in light of my academic demands, i was disregarding far more than i should have even thought of doing. and right now, i cant say that im not ashamed of what ive done.or what i havent been able to do."Simon, do you love me...?"As he sat next to Him in the glow of the fire that cooked their mid-morning meal, Simon Peter reflected upon Jesus' words. His simple question, that, in the light of the recent events that had shaken the foundation of Jerusalem, Israel and their belief in the Messiah to the core, seemed to hold much greater a weight when Simon thought of his acts during the crucifixion."I do not know Him!!"; those words were uttered without barely a thought, the impulse behind them fueled purely by fear, by panic, by selfish desires. Ever since the moment the cock had crowed, Simon had wrestled with his foolish actions, and the consequences that lay in wait. "I...denied Jesus. Denied God and all I've stood for...over the past 4 years in which I've centralized my life around God's work"; the retribution seemed inevitable. Who gets away with lying about an affiliation...with the Almighty Himself? A thousand thoughts must have perturbed his mind since that afternoon on calvary hill...and not a single one entirely related to his reckless actions and how he was now so, so sorry.And somehow, now, in Jesus' face now Simon saw no trace of that hatred, that anger, that retribution he deserved, but an honest, simple expression...of His love, unwavered since the day he had met Him. And in that, Simon realised the love that Jesus had shown, the love he had been called to show, and the love that his Messiah still continued to show, despite his utmost failure to comply to God's commandments, was not one he could strive for, for by rights no act of relentless faith or selfless worship could hope to atone for his lifetime of ineptitude and sin.It was a love so great - a love that superceded the boundaries and rights the universe had cast upon man and God, separating them as far as the heavens and the earth. A love that broke the chains of sin...of fear...of guilt that suspended him to his earthly fate. A love that promised a future, given not by rights but by grace.A love greater than any other.perhaps never before more than this instant has the weight of the world borne down to heavily upon each and every one of us, as daily we struggle against society and conformity to try to hold on to God's word. and we wonder sometimes...why is it so hard...??"Brothers and sisters will betray one another and have each other put to death.
Parents will betray their own children, and children will turn against their parents and have them killed.
Everyone will hate you because of me.
But if you remain faithful until the end, you will be saved."
- Matthew 10: 21-22
maybe it was never meant to be easy.
God warns us that in choosing to follow Him, we are pitting ourselves against the rest of society that follows the mainstream of the world, the way of the devil. And in firm belief and
conviction in carrying out His will, we meet with adversity beyond what we ourselves may possibly hope to overcome. but it is with His strength and His grace that we are empowered to last through these ages of turmoil.
on a different note, something that was mentioned on sunday did say something about God's love. its a love unconditional...
...and to Him, a love unnecessary.
as Jesus spoke to Simon Peter, christians are called to be fishers of men. to reach out into society and earn for Christ more followers, more believers, more disciples for His holy cause. let the kingdom of God be glorified - it is the quintessential task of each true christian to devote his or her existance to the expansion of the Lord's kingdom.
and yet, the presence of a following...is irrelevant to the glorification of that kingdom. for His name is not exalted higher just because it has behind it legions of believers; it is as such as it deserves it. but God extends this chance for us to be redeemed, this want of His for us to be brought close to Him, simply because He loves us. and in that love holds the ability to see all of our flaws, and the grace to overlook them entirely and to draw us into His perfect presence.
the one thing we need in life, the one thing we should hold close and rely on entirely, is the promise of God that He is the same yesterday, today, tomorrow and forevermore. and in this promise is the reassurance that Christ will come again...and that all our troubles may be lifted from our shoulders. for He who has overcome this earth has more than the power and the desire to overcome whatever challenge, come what may."Simon Peter, do you love me?"And in the presence of that love, Simon realised, was the promise of God unconditional and everlasting. The words flowed from his lips freely this time."Yes Lord, I do!!"Blessed are those who dwell in Your houseThey are ever praising YouBlessed are those whose strength is in YouWhose hearts are set on our GodWe will go from strength to strengthTill me see You face to faceHear our prayerOh Lord God almightyCome bless our landAs we seek You, worship YouFor You are holyFor You are holyFor You are holy, LordHear our prayerOh Lord God almightyCome bless our landAs we seek You, worship YouBlessedHillsongBlessedwe seek You, we will worship You, come what may.Yes Lord, i do!!
