I give my all to You

Sunday, September 30, 2007

and the exam week begins. bummer.

from now until next wednesday its unending studying and revision and doing of worksheets.

and then its freedom for 3 months!!!! if i make it out alive.

stayed in church to study today alone. until Dexter came at 2. hes got a really cool shirt.

2 more chapters of geog.
2 more chapters of history
a book and 2 more chapters of lifescience
4 more chapters of history
a years worth of concepts of maths
half a lit text

84 more hours.

everythings confusing now. ahhh.

Josh Groban makes the beautifullest songs.

Friday, September 28, 2007

and week 3 ends.

3 more days to the exams. i havent finished studying anything. woahhh im screwed.

1 more chapter of geog
1 more chapter of history
2 more chapters of lifescience
4 more chapters of physicalscience
read Merchant of Venice
re-learn years worth of maths concepts.

its gonna be a long weekend.

and an even longer week.

i heard this song a few times today...and it kinda fit with that Paul Washer video Jeremy showed me. although its in a much happier tone. time to repent.

I'm gonna make a change for once in my life
It's gonna feel real good, gonna make a difference
Gonna make it right

As I turn up the collar on my favorite winter coat
This wind is blowin' my mind
I see the kids in the street with not enough to eat
Who am I to be blind, pretending not to see their needs?
A summer's disregard, a broken bottle top
And a one man's soul
They follow each other on the wind ya' know
Cus they got nowhere to go
That's why I want you to know

I've been a victim of a selfish kind of love
It's time that I realize
That there are some with no home
Not a nickel to loan
Could it be really me, pretending that they're not alone?
A willow deeply scarred, somebody's broken heart
And a washed-out dream
They follow the pattern of the wind, ya' see
Cause they got no place to be
That's why I'm starting with me

I'm starting with the man in the mirror
I'm asking him to change his ways
And no message could have been any clearer
If you wanna make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself, and then make a change

If you wanna make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself and then make the change
You gotta get it right, while you got the time
Cus when you close your heart
You can't close your mind

I'm starting with the man in the mirror
I'm asking him to change his ways
And no message could have been any clearer
If you wanna make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself, and then make a change

make that change

Man in the Mirror
Michael Jackson
Bad

inspirational song.

im going a little Michael Jackson-crazy. but hes really good. and hes got the worlds best-selling album =)

and hes not a pedo!!

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Smooth Criminal
Michael Jackson
Bad

cool song. cool dance.

retarded video.

i honestly used to think Michael Jackson was just some weird dude with bleached skin...but this video and song kinda blew me away. even though the video plot was entirely stupid, the dance was SO cool. especially the lean O.o

and the songs really nice too.

went for the IB/express talks with Joseph on friday. the first talk was loooong. and boring. and irritating. so i didnt really get much. second talk was shorter...and kinda fun. Joseph sat and drew faces. Santanas turned out realistic. haha...fuzzy eyebrows =)

still dont know whether to go for express or IB.

sat at home yesterday reading one piece. the whole day. minus a few minutes for geog. my lifes so sad.

okayy since the videos up im not gonna upload Alien Ant Farms cover of that song...even though i love it.

I have been blind, unwilling
To see the true love you're giving
I have ignored every blessing
I'm on my knees, confessing

I have been wrong about you
I thought I was strong without you
For so long, nothing could move me
For so long, nothing could change me

Now I feel myself surrender
Each time I see your face
I am captured by your beauty
Your unassuming grace
And I feel my heart is turning
Falling into place
I can't hide it
Now hear my confession

You are the air that I breathe
You're the ground beneath my feet
When did I stop believing

Cus I feel myself surrender
Each time I see your face
I am staggered by your beauty
Your unassuming grace
And I feel my heart is turning
Falling into place
I can't hide it
Now hear my confession

Hear my confession

My Confession
Josh Groban
Closer

Josh Groban =). beautiful song.

are you mad at me or something?

Thursday, September 20, 2007

week 2 nearly over. already drained.

i have 6 maths assignments left untouched. a ton of revision to do. its do or die for the next 2 weeks.

i hope i find my history textbook soon.

Jeremy told me last night Joseph had dengue. asked Barnabas, Barnabas said yes. freaked out. told J Koh and told him not to tell anyone. prayed a little. Barnabas called at 9.30 and said Joseph didnt have dengue. felt a little relieved, but still worried.

went to school this morning and apparently the whole class thought he had dengue. told some people he didnt. then sat in class.

and at 8.40, lo and behold, in walked Joseph, complete with goofy smile.

well, praise God? =)

like this song.

They tell you where you need to go
Tell you when you need to leave
Tell you what you’ll need to know
Tell you who you need to be

But everything inside you knows
There’s more than what you’ve heard
So much more than empty conversations
Filled with empty words

And you’re on fire when he’s near you
You’re on fire when he speaks
You’re on fire
Burning at these mysteries

Give me one more time around
Give me one more chance to see
Give me everything you are
Give me one more chance to be near you

When everything inside me
Looks like everything I hate
You are the hope I have for change
You are the only chance I’ll take

When I’m on fire when you’re near me
I’m on fire when you speak
I’m on fire
Burning at these mysteries

You’re on fire, you’re on fire
I’m standing on the edge of me
I’m standing on the edge of me
I’m standing on the edge of me
I’m standing on the edge of me
I’m standing at the edge of everything I’ve never been before
And I’ve been standing at the edge of me
Standing on the edge

And I’m on fire when you’re near me
I’m on fire when you speak
I'm on fire
Burning at these mysteries

You're a mystery

On Fire
Switchfoot
The Beautiful Letdown

its really...moving.

sometimes i feel like running away from you.
just to see if youd run after me.

Sunday, September 16, 2007

term 4 week 1. so it ends.

i dont really have much to write about...but somehow i have a nagging voice at the back of my head telling me i should. for some strange reason.

went to JLFJs house to do ISO stuff on...wednesday, i think. did little to nothing regarding ISO at all. ripped CDs. looked at pics of him in san francisco and alcatraz. fascinating. i never get to go anywhere like that.

didnt go for NPCC on friday cus Beaurhys said there wasnt any. oh well. guess it wasnt meant to be =)

went to church yesterday to wait for Grace. then wen to Vivo to get Rebeccas present. walked around for really long looking for something. then walked around for really long looking for something else. then bought boxes and sat on grass. then went home with Yan Lin.

woke up this morning to find out my mom had left me home and gone to church. i was kinda pissed. so i took a cab. got there at 9, did the cebu presentation. which i didnt prepare for and totally screwed up. darn.

went to watch No Reservations after church. shhhh. it was really nice...a little draggy, but nice.

Nicks cool.

i think ive got like multiple personality disorder or something. online im one person. and sometimes i feel like i dont even know myself. like today. it was weird.

ill settle this...after the exams.

song. i think John Mayers cool. so im putting up one of his songs. its an old one...but its really nice.

This is a call to the colorblind
This is an IOU
I'm stranded behind the horizon line
Tied up in something true

Why is it not the time?
What is there more to learn?
Shed this skin I've been tripping in
And I've never quite returned

Yes, I'm grounded
Got my wings clipped
I'm surrounded by all this pavement
Guess I'll circle
While I'm waiting for my fuse to dry

Someday I'll fly
Someday I'll soar
Someday I'll be
So damn much more
Cus I'm bigger than my body gives me credit for
Cus I'm bigger than my body now

Maybe I'll tangle in a power lines
And it might be over in a second's time
But I'll gladly go down in a flame
If the flame's what it takes to remember my name
To remember my name now

Yes, I'm grounded
Got my wings clipped
I'm surrounded by all this pavement
Guess I'll circle
While I'm waiting for my fuse to dry
Waiting for my fuse to dry

Someday I'll fly
Someday I'll soar
Someday I'll be
So damn much more
Cus I'm bigger than my body
Bigger than my body
Bigger than my body now

Bigger Than My Body
John Mayer
Heavier Things

recommended by Amadeus. and ive gotta say i love it. he sounds like Teddy Geiger. or Teddy Geiger sounds like him cus he came first. but i like Teddys songs more. theyre nicer...somehow. and theyve got memories locked in them.

and ohh. Teddy Geiger's The March coming out sometime this year, i think. unless itll be delayed like LPs. looking out for that.

Saturday, September 08, 2007

im home again...after another nice long 2 day escapade. a visit to Chengliangs house which suddenly turned to a visit to Josephs house.

went to Chengliangs house on friday. he cooks good lunches. watched Evan Almighty. lots of critics are saying that it isnt that good and all...but really i think its the message delivered thats of the highest importance...that we should trust in God in all we do. went swimming and then for dinner at the club. then went back to read some comics until 12. then slept.

or tried to sleep. it was a disturbed night. snores. rooster calls. and embarassment. sigh.

got up and had breakfast. then went to Josephs house where Jeremy already was. did some music. had some food. played some stupid xbox games. ate more food. stayed in their house while Chengliang went home. did rubbish and more music. went to cycle. Bishan parks really small. then went to Matthews house for dinner.

and i did something very very very stupid in Josephs house. now my neck hurts.

school in 12 hours. sigh. and i havent done my homework. which are 2 maths worksheets, 2 lifescience papers, some english thingy and some long geog thing.

ahh well. ive still got tonight.

got a boomerang in church today!! thanks Rebecca =) watched Rent when i got home. its the second time seeing it...but its still equally touching. and wrong. its an impactful show. but for wrong wrong wrong reasons.

still, the songs are good.

Don't breathe too deep
Don't think all day
Dive into work
Drive the other way
That drip of hurt
That pint of shame
Goes away
Just play the game

The filmmaker cannot see
And the songwriter cannot hear
Yet I see Mimi everywhere
Angel's voice is in my ear
Just tighten those shoulders
Just clench your jaw till you frown
Just don't let go
Or you may drown

You're living in America
At the end of the millennium
You're living in America
Where it's like the Twilight Zone
And when you're living in America
At the end of the millennium
You're what you own

So I own not a notion
I escape and ape content
I don't own emotion
I rent

Angel
I hear you
I hear it
I see it
I see it
My film!

Mimi I see you
I see it
I hear it
I hear it
My song!

Alexi
Mark
Call me a hypocrite
I need to finish my own film
I quit!

Dying in America
At the end of the millennium
We're dying in America
To come into our own
And when you're dying in America
At the end of the millennium
You're not alone
I'm not alone

I'm not alone

What You Own
Anthony Rapp & Adam Pascal
Rent

okayy the song wont make sense...at all...unless youve watched the show. so go watch it!!

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

I SHALL DO MY HOMEWORK TOMORROW!!!!

im home, after 30+ hours in Evans grandmas house. sigh. i loved that place.

nothing but mindless tv mindless tv mindless tv mealtime mindless tv mindless tv com swimming mindless tv mindless tv mindless tv mindless tv com sleep mindless tv mindless tv mindless tv com com com com mindless tv mindless tv mindless tv com mindless tv.

yeahhh that was my monday-tuesday. totally unproductive. totally pointless. totally wasted.

i gotta get cable.

now cus ive got nothing to do and cus im a nice abiding kid i shall...with great hesitance...do Yan Lins quiz.

1) List out top 5 birthday presents that you wish for:
my own mac
my own house
my own bank account with some rich dudes money inside it
my own island
a life

2) The person who tagged you is? Yan Lin

3) Your relationship with her/him? church friend =)

4) Your 5 impressions of him/her? friendly. nice. interesting. talkative. and ummm...smiley?

5) The most memorable thing he/she has done for you? written on my birthday card =)

6) The most memorable words he/she has said to you? i...cant remember.

7) If he/she becomes your lover, you will? uhhh...im too young for this stuff!!

8) If he/she becomes your enemy, you will? take my PSP back!!

9) If he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be? i dunno...i dont think shell ever do anything thatll make me hate her anyway...

10) The most desired thing you want to do for him/her now is? get her the PSP memory card. hmph.

11) Your overall impression of him/her is? fun =)

12) How you think people around you will feel about you? thats a question you ask the people around me...

13) The character you love yourself are? im easy going...most of the time.

14) On the contrary, what are the characters of yourself you hate? im easy going...too often. and when im not i get depressed =(

15) The most ideal person you want to be is? oooooooohh...ummm...Orlando Bloom =) or Jared Leto

16) pass this quiz to 10 people.
1.Ben.
2.Grace.
3.Vanessa.
4.Joel Yap.
5.Junyi. even though i wont get to see it =(
6.Rebecca.
7.Jeremy.
8.Joseph.
9.J Koh
10.J Lee FJ.

ahahahahahahaha.

17) Who is 6 (Rebecca) having a relationship with? see Yan Lin's blog. i said nothing!!!

18) Is no. (J Koh) a male or female? ummmm...now thats...tough.

19) If no.7 (Jeremy) and 10. (J Lee FJ) are together, will it be a good thing? O.o. oh gross!!!!

20) How about 8. (Joseph) and 5. (Junyi) oho!! aha!! fireworks.

21) What is 2. (Grace) studying about? her exams are over. lucky girl.

22) when was the last time you had a chat with 3. (Vanessa). Sunday in church. if thats considered a chat.

23) What kind of music/band does 8.(Joseph) like? the night santa went crazy =) and misc disney stuff. tsk tsk.

24) does 1 (Ben) have any siblings? 2 brothers...if i remember right...or was it 3...?

25) Will you woo 3(Vanessa)? erk. i disgust her. haha...just kidding.

26) Is 4 (Joel Yap) single? mmmm...yeah?

27) what is the surname of 5 (Junyi)? Yong.

28) What's the hobby of number 4. (Joel Yap)? getting music...from me =)

29) Do 5 (Junyi) and 9 (J Koh)get along well? yeahhhh...i guess.

30) where is 2 (Grace) studying at? PLMGS.

31) talk something casually about 1.(Ben)? friend. diet. cool. *grin*

32) Have you try developing feeling for 8. (Joseph)? im waaaaaay out of his league.

33) where does 9. (J Koh) live? probably some big big mansion...with diamond sculptures and an elevator and 15 butlers and a chauffer in the limousine and stuff like that.

34) what colour does 4.(Joel Yap) like? ...do i know whether he wears his left sock or his right one first?

35) Are 5. (Junyi) and 1. (Ben) best friends? no...but they know each other.

36) Does 7. (Jeremy) like 2. (Grace)? there isnt a single girl in Jeremy contact list. so no.

37) How did you get to know 2.(Grace)? church...and MSN. lots and lots and lots of MSN.

38) Does 1. (Ben) have any pets? i think not.

39) is 7. (Jeremy) the sexiest person in the world? ohhhhh mannnn. well hes definately one of the nicest i know =)

oh yeah. that was a good waste of time.

id rather do quizzes about myself. sorry if i offended anyone there =(.

sighhh. home for the next 2 days with brother and DEAR DADDY. not Bon Jovi...the real daddy. i pray that peace prevails. or this time there might actually be blood involved instead of just bruises.

now...song song song.

Thought I ran into you down on the street
Then it turned out to only be a dream

Seems that she disappeared without a trace
Did she ever marry old what's his face?

I made a point to burn all of the photographs
She went away and then I took a different path
I remember the face but I can't recall the name
Now I wonder how whatsername has been

Remember, whatever
It seems like forever ago
Remember, whatever
It seems like forever ago

The regrets are useless
In my mind
She's in my head
I must confess
The regrets are useless
In my mind
She's in my head
From so long ago

And in the darkest night
If my memory serves me right
I'll never turn back time
Forgetting you, but not the time

Whatsername
Green Day
American Idiot

the final track of the album...and a really nice song and conclusion.

yeahh its an old album...but its still one of my favourites. and its a concept album with a plot that isnt...crummy. the Jesus of Suburbia and St Jimmy. its pretty deep.

of maybe i just dont get it -.-

Sunday, September 02, 2007

hey.

got this in a chain mail from Ariel...and i figured if i resend it to people theyll probably delete it. so im putting it up here...cus its really a good message.

Every Sunday afternoon, after the morning service at the church, the Pastor and his eleven year old son would go out into their town and hand out Gospel Tracts. This particular Sunday afternoon, as it came time for the Pastor and his son to go to the streets with their tracts, it was very cold outside, as well as pouring down rain. The boy bundled up in his warmest and driest clothes and said, "OK, dad, I'm ready."

His Pastor dad asked, "Ready for what?"

"Dad, it's time we gather our tracts together and go out."

Dad responds, "Son, it's very cold outside and it's pouring down rain."

The boy gives his dad a surprised look, asking, "But Dad, aren't people still going to Hell, even though it's raining?

"Dad answers, "Son, I am not going out in this weather."

Despondently, the boy asks, "Dad, can I go? Please?"

His father hesitated for a moment then said, "Son, you can go. Here are the tracts, be careful son."

"Thanks Dad!"

And with that, he was off and out into the rain. The eleven year old boy walked the streets of the town going door to door and handing everybody he met in the street a Gospel Tract. After two hours of walking in the rain, he was soaking, bone-chilled wetand down to his very last tract. He stopped on a corner and looked for someone to hand a tract to, but the streets were totally deserted. Then he turned toward the first home he saw and started up the sidewalk to the front door and rang the door bell.

He rang the bell, but nobody answered. He rang it again and again, but still no one answered. He waited but still no answer. Finally, this eleven year old trooper turned to leave, but something stopped him. Again, he turned to the door and rang the bell and knocked loudly on the door with his fist. He waited, something holding him there on the front porch! He rang again and this time the door slowly opened.

Standing in the doorway was a very sad-looking elderly lady. She softly asked, "What can I do for you, son?" With radiant eyes and a smile that lit up her world, this little boy said, "Ma'am, I'm sorry if I disturbed you, but I just want to tell you that JESUS REALLY DOES LOVE YOU. I came to give you my very last Gospel Tract which will tell you all about Jesus and His great Love." With that, he handed her his last tract and turned to leave. She called to him as he departed. "Thank you, son! And God Bless You!"

The following Sunday morning in church Pastor Dad was in the pulpit. As the service began, he asked, "Does anybody have any testimony or want to say anything?" Slowly, in the back row of the church, an elderly lady stood to her feet. As she began to speak, a look of glorious radiance came from her face,

"No one in this church knows me. I've never been here before. You see, before last Sunday I was not a Christian. My husband passed on some time ago, leaving me totally alone in this world. Last Sunday, being a particularly cold and rainy day, it was even more so in my heart that I came to the end of the line where I no longer had any hope or will to live.

So I took a rope and a chair and ascended the stairway into the attic of my home. I fastened the rope securely to a rafter in the roof, then stood on the chair and fastened the other end of the rope around my neck. Standing on that chair, so lonely and brokenhearted I was about to leap off, when suddenly the loud ringing of my doorbell downstairs startled me. I thought, "I'll wait a minute, and whoever it is will go away." I waited and waited, but the ringing doorbell seemed to get louder and more insistent, and then the person ringing also started knocking loudly. I thought to myself again, "Who on earth could this be? Nobody ever rings my bell or comes to see me." I loosened the rope from my neck and started for the front door, all the while the bell rang louder and louder.

When I opened the door and looked I could hardly believe my eyes, for there on my front porch was the most radiant and angelic little boy I had ever seen in my life. His smile, oh, I could never describe it to you! The words that came from his mouth caused my heart that had long been dead, to leap to life as he exclaimed with a cherub-like voice, "Ma'am, I just came to tell you that JESUS REALLY DOES LOVE YOU." Then he gave me this Gospel Tract that I now hold in my hand.

As the little angel disappeared back out into the cold and rain, I closed my door and read slowly every word of this Gospel Tract. Then I went up to my attic to get my rope and chair. I wouldn't be needing them any more.

You see - I am now a Happy Child of the King. Since the address of your church was on the back of this Gospel Tract, I have come here to personally say thank you to God's little angel who came just in the nick of time and by so doing, spared my soul from an eternity in hell."

There was not a dry eye in the church. And as shouts of praise and honor to the King resounded off the very rafters of the building, Pastor Dad descended from the pulpit to the front pew where the little angel was seated. He took his son in his arms and sobbed uncontrollably. Probably no church has had a more glorious moment, and probably this universe has never seen a Papa that was more filled with love & honor for his son.

Except for One.

Our Father also allowed His Son to go out into a cold and dark world. He received His Son back with joy unspeakable, and as all of heaven shouted praises and honor to The King, the Father sat His beloved Son on a throne far above all principality and power and every name that is named.

really touching story.

somewhere else in the chainmail it said this too

No one falls in love by choice, it is by CHANCE.
No one stays in love by chance, it is by WORK.
No one falls out of love by chance, it is by CHOICE

dunno how thats related...but its enlightening. yeah.

"Whoever acknowledges Me before men, I will acknowledge him before My Father in heaven. But whoever disowns Me before men, I will disown him before My Father in heaven"

Matthew 10:32

God Bless =)

Saturday, September 01, 2007

and the holidays have come!!!!

okayyy...one week to rest and study a little before term starts...3 weeks of mugging and then one week of exams and then im free.

FREE!!!!!!

yay. cant wait.

stayed back in school after teachers day yesterday with Amadeus to do my IB portfolio. talked about random weird stuff. then went home with him. i owe him money now.

Liang Chew Man probably wont like my portfolio alot. it couldve been better. had i not really burnt all my newsouthwales certificates.

oh well...IB is now all up to chance. thanks Amadeus for wasting 3 hours with me when you couldve gone home and salvaged your afternoon.

went to the FL sports day today cus Darius asked me to cycle there with his brother. and i had nothing to do but watch pokemon. so i went.

got there at 12 or so. played frisbee. ate lunch. sat around and didnt play soccer. went cycling through the whole of east coast park...i never knew it was so big. came back at 3+ and found Zachary there. he was looking for a 3 man bike.

read stuff on my ipod then went for dinner with the Lam family, the Wong family, Adriel and Sophie. Adriels hilarious. then we cycled back home.

it was pretty fun...even though i spent the whole day more or less alone listening to music and cycling. im seriously listening to too much music.

i pledge that ill only listen to music when theres no one around from now on. or when im on a really long bus ride.

anyway thanks to Darius and Daniel for dragging me along with them.

cus of those, i couldnt go with Joseph to JS on friday or to his house again today. sorry Joseph =(

ill have an eventful holiday...a very eventful one. provided nothing goes wrong.

Thanks for all you've done
I've missed you for so long
I can't believe you're gone
You still live in me
I feel you in the wind
You guide me constantly

I never knew what it was to be alone, no
Cus you were always there for me
You were always home waiting

I carry the things that remind me of you
In loving memory of
The one that was so true
You were as kind as you could be
And even though you're gone
You still mean the world to me

I never knew what it was to be alone, no
Cus you were always there for me
You were always home waiting

But now I come home
And its not the same no
It feels empty and alone
I can't believe you're gone

And I know
You're a part of me
And its your song
That sets me free
I sing it while
I feel I can't hold on
I sing tonight
Cus it comforts me

I'm glad He set you free from sorrow
I'll still love you more tomorrow
And you'll be here with me still

All you did you did with feeling
And you always found a meaning
And you always will

And I know
You're a part of me
And it's your song
That sets me free
I sing it while
I feel I can't hold on
I sing tonight
Cus it comforts me

In Loving Memory
Alter Bridge
One Day Remains

maybe passion pink isnt the right colour for a rock song like this. but it just seems pink to me.

its a really touching song about the deceased mom of the bands guitarist. its really beautiful.

sniff.

im adding One Day Remains - Alter Bridge to my list of favourite albums. its really nice.

their next albums coming out October 9th. cant wait.