I give my all to You

Sunday, March 30, 2008

sunday evening comes all too soon.

T2-ed with Andrew last thursday. still like that better...i guess its the basic knowledge that you cant possibly capsize in it that makes you effectively more stable. and because you have no reserves, it only makes going faster easier.

anyway Mr Goh said hed train us on Cs soon. uh oh. but i guess the faster we learn the faster we make mistakes and the faster we get better.

just hope its a C2.

SSO concert on friday. when i walked into the concert hall it was like dejavu. the exact same view i saw way back in sec1. ahhhh. the good days.

but that was basically all i really liked about the concert. yeahhh. they were good though. im just not a classical music person. not classical instrumental anyway.

went for supper with Ben Nong and Joel Yap. walked into a topman shop.

me: omg topmans new line.
nong: yeahh its super nice.
me: nong dont lend me any money for clothes.
nong: okay no money for you.

looks through a set of tees.

me: nong lend me money.
nong: no.

i need to learn financial restraint. seriously. but their new line is sooooo good.

i gotta start saving up.

went for italian stuff. so that made 3 italian meals in 1 day.

national juniors on saturday. got there at 10. saw people and Andrew whod been there since 9. watched Leon and Michael and Eugene race. dang.

met Joseph and the K4 crew at 11. and Barn with the bananas. they owned heats behind the national team. heh heh.

went for lunch with Joseph and Barn and his parents. and Winston. Winston makes crack about the center-parting. decide to cut hair.

came back to the shed and saw everyone sleeping. went to the semi-finals at 3-ish. K4 got 5th. i dunno about what anyone else wouldve said about that race...but i thought it was a pretty great feat.

good job K4!!!!

went for a haircut at Josephs barber. have to admit i like it.

church today. the worship session in the morning did speak to me a little. partially because the songs they played today held memories of experiences. of messages.

everyone went home early =( went with Zachary to watch Rupen play this super super cute PSP game.

honestly...somehow i feel that our churches youth lately havent really been much of a community. and all in all, its really the fault of the youth ourselves. we have great leaders...and cgls who really do care. and over all, a God that cares.

...but do WE really care anymore...?

i see people stop coming for FL. people i know. and its really really quite saddening.

sighh.

went for 4.5 just now. 23 minutes. heh heh.

anyway i played U2s Atomic Bomb. and as always one song strikes me.

The more you see the less you know
The less you find out as you go
I knew much more then
Than I do now

Neon heart dayglo eyes
A city lit by fireflies
They're advertising in the skies
For people like us

Don't look before you laugh
Look ugly in a photograph
Flash bulbs, purple irises
The camera can't see

I've seen you walk unafraid
I've seen you in the clothes you made
Can you see the beauty inside of me?
What happened to the beauty I had inside of me

And I miss you when you're not around
I'm getting ready to leave the ground

Oh you look so beautiful tonight
In the city of blinding lights

Time
Won't leave me as I am
But time
Won't take the boy out of this man

Oh you look so beautiful tonight
Oh you look so beautiful tonight
Oh you look so beautiful tonight
In the city of blinding lights

The more you know the less you feel
Some pray for others steal
Blessings not just for the ones who kneel
Luckily

City of Blinding Lights
U2
How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb

a rhapsody of love.

and blogger is dead irritating.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

i like wednesday nights. theyre full of hope. like half the weeks already over and all i gotta do is plow through 2 more days.

just as a reflection...i think its kinda saddening that the good friday/easter feeling disappears so fast. not the exuberance of the holiday and all...more like the knowledge that merely a few days ago we remembered Christ's death for all of us. and so fast were turning back to our old lives like the recollection of the crucifixion is just another annual event.

cant we hold on to Him just as He did for us...even when He had absolutely no reason to...?

Friday, March 21, 2008

good friday. really does good to the student whos been stressed out by school for...uhhh...4 days.

great...first week and im already dying.

just came back from city harvest church with Joshua. nice place. its a big community...yet pretty nice and home-y in its own way. there was this skit...about this dude who created something that let you see back into your past. and the moral implications it had on people. basically a story of how getting all you want in life sometimes overshadows what living is all about. to live in God.

anyway there was this part of the play where the dude travelled back in time and saw Jesus getting crucified. and he was getting whipped and beated and nailed on the cross...and while watching that something i heard from one of pastor Joels sermons flashed through my mind.

that should have been ME.

i guess the crucifixions always been the one aspect of Christianity that really hit home with me. how God could just give himself up for us...people who barely even recognise Him in their daily lives. Jesus allowed himself to be nailed to that cross in place of all of us...and most of the time we take that for granted. or at least i do. everyday i sin and do things i really am not proud of...and every time that happens im driving those nails deeper into His palms.

every time i hear that story being retold i just break down. it really is too much to take.

went for supper with Joshua and his cg. friendly people =) i dunno why but i felt really easy around them.

...and we saw Phee. wooohooo. with Mrs Phee and the Phee kids.

okayy...just a thought today.

since i was small ive always been told that, in commemoration of good friday, it would rain at 3pm...like how the sky went black when Jesus died on the actual day.

but lately for the past few years global warming has kicked in...and for quite awhile i saw no rain. and maybe its real subtle but i guess in a way it stopped making me feel like God was there. like Hed drawn back and the world had won. and today in the morning it was like really sunny and all so id just resigned myself to the fact that it was gonna be a hot good friday. i really didnt even think about it.

and then at 2.30 i heard thunder...and it started raining.

and in a very slight way...it just showed me that Gods still there. and He's ALWAYS there. just that maybe sometimes i dont let myself believe in Him. but even still He never gave up on me. and just like how He let His son be nailed to the cross for my sins...He gave everything for my salvation. and for so long ive just been tossing that aside.

well no more.

I am falling to my knees
I need You, Lord, to breathe in me
My prayer is still the same
My heart is crying out Your name

I am longing just to see
Your power and Your majesty

Sweet anointing, fill this place
I am found in Your embrace

Rain down on me
Rain down on me
Here in Your presence, I am free
Pour down like rain
Come touch me again
Lord, let Your presence fall on me

Sweet anointing
Wash me over
Sweet anointing
Wash me over

Rain down on me
Rain down on me
Here in Your presence, I am free
Pour down like rain
Come touch me again
Lord, let Your presence fall on me

Rain Down
Planetshakers

just believe.

let His love rain down.

Friday, March 14, 2008

totally random but every post ive read todays emo. or semo. or just waaaaay depressing.

seriously, cheer up people!! even though holidays over. sighh.

theyve gone by so fast!!

went to watch Step Up 2 after church last sunday with Grace Vanessa Yan Lin and Evan. it was pretty cool...alot different from the first one. there shouldve been more Channing Tatum though...his dancings seriously cool.

went back to Evans house after that.

canoeing on monday and dragonboating on tuesday. seriously i love dragonboating. a super super super stable boat and all you have to do is whack and whack with everyone else in the spirit of teamwork. and when you get tired you just keep pushing and pushing until you go psycho. and then you start laughing and shouting at yourself and you push harder. its a great feeling.

...a little whacky...but great.

stayed over with Joseph last monday. then canoeing again on thursday. See Teck Hock paid me a compliment =) heh heh. but Andrew still owns me. sighh.

took a T2 with Andrew today. i feel bad for screwing up his direction and making him readjust so often. but i learnt a few things. and that i can paddle harder than him. i think.

anyway the T2s pretty fun. heh heh.

anyway i know im gonna get better. i owe too much to this opportunity not to.

i feel so on about it.

hmmm. music.

Michael Jackson just released Thriller 25. but its basically just Thriller again with some funky remixes. which...dont really do the originals justice...or thats what i feel anyway.

Think about the generations
And say we wanna make it a better place for our children and our children's children
so that they...
They know it's a better world for them.
And think if they can make it a better place

There's a place in your heart
And I know that it is love
And this place could be much brighter than tomorrow
And if you really try
You'll find there's no need to cry
In this place you'll feel there's no hurt or sorrow

There are ways to get there
If you care enough for the living
Make a little space
Make a better place

If you want to know why
There's a love that cannot lie
Love is strong, it only cares of joyful giving
If we try, we shall see
In this bliss we cannot feel
Fear or dread, we stop existing and start living

Then it feels that always
Love's enough for us growing
Make a better world
Make a better world

Heal the world
Make it a better place
For you and for me and the entire human race
There are people dying
If you care enough for the living
Make a better place for you and for me

And the dream we were conceived in will reveal a joyful face
And the world we once believed in will shine again in grace
Then why do we keep strangling life
Wound this earth, crucify its soul
Though it's plain to see rhis world is heavenly
Be God's glow

We could fly so high
Let our spirits never die
In my heart I feel you are all my brothers
Create a world with no fear
Together we'll cry happy tears
See the nations turn their swords into plowshares

We could really get there
If you cared enough for the living
Make a little space to make a better place

Heal the world
Make it a better place
For you and for me and the entire human race
There are people dying
If you care enough for the living
Make a better place for you and for me

There are people dying
If you care enough for the living
Make a better place for you and for me

You and for me
You and for me

Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children

Heal the World
Michael Jackson
Dangerous

so beautiful a song.

ohhhh. and my 2.4s now 10.21. but i couldnt run my best today cus of that stupid headache. tragic.

i gotta get it to 9 minutes!!

Saturday, March 08, 2008

wooo. holidays.

at last a slight break from the hectic existance i lead daily. and yeahhh...i havent exactly been working extra extra hard this term...but its always good to take a break regardless the situation to reassess your thoughts and find yourself again if necessary.

or maybe just sleep lots more.

went for canoeing on thursday with Andrew and Joseph. i thought Andrew and i could just have fun like the lessons before.

and then See Teck Hock decided to teach us.

it wasnt really vigorous...but we definately learnt alot. and in a twisted, sadistic way, it was pretty fun. like how gym is fun.

anyway, i capsized at the 250m mark and couldnt get back in the canoe. Joseph towed the boat back and i had to swim back to shore. that wasnt fun.

went with Joseph Barn and Lawrence after school on friday to watch 10000BC. its a pretty cool show...better than most shown lately. its a little like Apocalypto...just less freaky and gross and more...PG. and its like super funny when the mammoth starts running and the dudes grab onto the net and get dragged behind. couldnt stop laughing.

heh heh

went back to Josephs house after that for dinner.

went for choir today. it was a total emofest. seriously it was depressing.

i guess i was right when i told myself that the choir community really has changed. or that my spirit towards it has. either way its a different place for me...and im not sure i fit in there anymore.

went home with Ben and Aaron after that. will gym with them on wednesday.

ohhh yeahhh. i got the IB scholarship. wacky huh. i seriously dont think i deserve it...but its gonna help my mom alot. 14k saved. i guess its Gods way of answering our prayers for help =)

so thank you Jesus!!!!

There must be more than this
O breath of God, come breath within
There must be more than this
Spirit of God, we wait for You
Fill us anew, we pray
Fill us anew, we pray

Come like the rushing wind
Clothe us with power from on high
Now set the captives free
Leave us abandoned to Your praise
Lord let Your glory fall
Lord let Your glory fall

Consuming fire, fan into flame
A passion for Your name
Spirit of God, fall in this place
Lord have Your way
Lord have Your way
With us

Stirring up in our hearts, Lord
Stirring up in our hearts, Lord
Stirring up in our hearts
A passion for Your name

Consuming Fire
Hillsong
More Than Life

canoeing on monday tuesday and thursday and choir on friday.

dang it i only have one day of holiday!!!

sigh.

Monday, March 03, 2008

just a few randomities.

my groups history project is pretty much screwed. especially after seeing Sien's. its so good i feel like crying.

canoeing is pretty fun. bus came late today so had little time so i just spent the lesson paddling around. its just like one of those joyrides.

and capsizing isnt half bad either.

and ohhhhhh thank you Joseph Sim for signing me up for 200m and 4x100relay!! what happened to my 100m??? now i have to run against Joseph Goh. sigh.

if i lose tomorrow then its too bad for CKS.

Saturday, March 01, 2008

its been long since ive seen rain like this.

seriously i think weather really does alot to ones character. rain simply makes me feel depressing. and sleepy. and lazy.

...actually its the same when its sunny just without the depressing.

so term 1s coming to an end. it seemed to drag by but now im at the end of it it seems to have just shot by. pretty much what youd expect from life...i made a few mistakes, learnt a few lessons. and got to know my class a little more.

3.15 is a really different place from what 2.7 used to be for me...but ive come to realise that its just an atmosphere you get used to. change usually is met with resilience...but once you let it in you might find it isnt all that bad. first perceptions are undoubtedly biased. and yet sometimes you really have to admit that you were initially over-judgemental.

God put me in this class for His purposes. maybe i should learn to just follow.

on a totally unrelated note...i feel too skinny today. glad theres canoeing tomorrow.

cool song. never made it as a single though.

I thought it wasn't wrong
To hide from you
Simple truth; I was scared
I felt it all along
But it hurt too much for me to share

Finally understand
Why things have happened
And how it all could go so wrong
Will this pain ever end?
Cus I don't think I can carry on

If only I had been less blind
I'd have someone to hold on to
If only I could change your mind
If only I had known
If only I had you

If only I had you
If only I had you

If only I had been less blind
I'd have someone to hold on to
If only I could have spoke my mind
If only it were true
We could start brand-new
I know I'll make it through
If only I had you

If only I had you

If Only
Hoobastank
Every Man for Himself

I guess some people just cant be friends.