I give my all to You

Sunday, January 27, 2008

end of week 4. exams start next week. whoa mama.

im still gonna try to transfer class...i really dont think i can last in this community much longer. ill miss you guys...Nick, Ryan, Ben. and uhh...Sien. even after the Usher thing.

but i just have to move somewhere else. an atmosphere that knows me calls for me. i knew that for sure yesterday.

went for the IB scholarship test yesterday. pretty okayy...just that 6th part kinda knocked me over. well...whether i get it or not is not im my control but Gods.

went for lunch with Joseph Jeremy Justin and Azriel, then took a bus from KAP to home then to gym with Joseph. i thrash him at tricep extensions. hahahar.

followed Joseph home. covered hockey sticks with black and silver tape. got dribbling tips from Barnabas. he really is good. went to Matthews house with them for dinner. went to hit down coconuts and threw them around.

i guess i kinda realised over the past month that my friends are a huge part of who i am. making new friends is always great...but growing apart from your old ones really threatens to change who you are. especially if theyve been really close.

i really need to be in .14

so this is a break from the U2 streak i was on.

I started up my hollow
Piece of wood to follow
A day that doesn't come to the lucky
And I realize there's tomorrow
But I would rather wallow
In the rain than moods that seem so potlucky

Well I'm cruisin' El Paseo
In my off-white coupe back '65
Oh I'm cruisin' down my own street
And my hoopty says to me
"You better hang on to your benchseat
I'm gonna take you for a ride."

So wait for fate to find me
A ball of string unwind me
Uncomfortable as a centerfold
And I realize you're behind me
To help and humankind me
To see my songs can be retold

Well, I'll be gone tomorrow
Yes, I'm on the road tomorrow
So, next time that I see you in school
It won't be for too long

And I'll let you know
When it comes
When it comes
I'll let you know
But don't stay up for me
Don't wait up for me
If I'm not home, yeah

And I want a leather jacket
But only if I have the time
Well I'll comb my hair like Elvis
And grab an Old Crash '59
And you'd hardly recognize me if you saw me from behind

And I'll let you know
When it comes
When it comes
I'll let you know
And I'll let you know, yeah
When it comes, just
When it comes
I'll let you know
But don't stay up for me
Don't wait up for me
If I'm not home, yeah

I'll let you know

When It Comes
Tyler Hilton
The Tracks of Tyler Hilton

nice song nice groove. and this depth that really isnt natural for a pop-based song.

Monday, January 21, 2008

term 1 week 4.

schools been hittin for nearly a month now. lessons are coming...homework is piling.

and so it begins. again.

it just seems kinda bizzare that the exams ended less than 4 months ago and we were just celebrating our freedom. our liberty. the exhilarating thrill of knowing that if, for the next few months, you are academically unproductive, it is entirely acceptable.

and now we gotta study again. sigh.

just hammered out a history essay. i think im about to fail it. sigh

oh well. always look up.

The heart is a bloom
shoots up through the stony ground
There's no room
no space to rent in this town
You're out of luck
and the reason that you had to care
The traffic is stuck
and you're not moving anywhere
You thought you'd found a friend
to take you out of this place
Someone you could lend a hand
in return for grace

It's a beautiful day
The sky falls and you feel like
It's a beautiful day

You're on the road
but you've got no destination
You're in the mud
in the maze of her imagination
You love this town
even if it doesn't ring true
You've been all over
and it's been all over you

It's a beautiful day
Don't let it get away
It's a beautiful day

Touch me
take me to that other place
You can teach me, Lord
I know I'm not a hopeless case

See the world in green and blue
See China right in front of you
See the canyons broken by cloud
See the tuna fleets clearing the sea out
See the bedouin fires at night
See the oil fields at first light, and
See the bird with a leaf in her mouth
After the flood all the colours came out

It was a beautiful day
Don't let it get away
Beautiful day

You can touch me, touch me
take me to that other place
You can teach me, Lord
I know I'm not a hopeless case

What you don't have you don't need it now
What you don't know you can feel it somehow
What you don't have you don't need it now
You don't need it now
don't need it now

Beautiful day

Beautiful God!

Beautiful Day [Live]
U2
U2 Go Home: Live from Slane Castle

usually live stuff doesnt come up here...but this versions a little different. theres praise where praise is due. praise to God.

its the one song that every band or singer wishes theyd written. its lovely singing, still.

and yeahh...im still way hung up on U2.

like i did before. taking chances.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

im HOME!!!

yeahhh. china was pretty tough. i cant believe i didnt like it when Lawrence told me the temperature had risen. im never gonna like cold countries again.

got there at 10+ on saturday morning. there was a flight delay and all so i spent 4 hours with Kenneth Westcott and the pyramid + 1. felt pretty good to get back with my old class.

i really miss them.

flew of to shanghai at 5.30. couldnt sleep on the stupid plane so i listened to the 3 albums i brought over and over again. thank goodness they were good ones. arrived and felt the cold. it wasnt all that bad at first cus it was only like 7degrees. it was kinda nice actually. especially seeing your breath condense into steam when you breathe or speak.

ate lunch and stuff. kinda liked china food then. i sure dont now.

went to see some show about the song dynasty then went for dinner at this funky place. checked into the hotel after that. i kinda liked the first hotel. it had a nice bathtub.

tried doing situps in the bathtub. stupid idea.

went to some tomb the next day wearing only 2 layers of clothes. and it was dead cold so i was dying until Moghan lent me his sweater. hes a great teacher.

busted my elbow there falling off the side of a staircase cus Patrick shoved me off. still hasnt healed. hope it isnt a fracture or anything.

spent the next few days or so touring around and seeing stuff that i really cant remember. began liking the food a little less.

fell sick on Kwok Wais birthday. forgot which day that is. started puking and stuff in the morning and got a super high fever. felt like fainting during the silk factory tour so Dennis Sim brought me to the room of the manager of the restaurant we were supposed to have lunch in so i could sleep. the manager came in and the tour guide and some other chinese people and they started talking really loud about how sick i was and how i needed peace so i could rest.

pretty ironic now i think of it. i didnt really have the consciousness to then.

brought to the hospital and was put on a IV drip. apparently they stick you with a needle for 3 hours when you get a fever there. felt a little better afterwards so Dennis Sim brought me back. hes a really good teacher.

dang it i shouldve taken chem.

started liking china a little less after that. spent the next few days touring around. 2 unfortunate incidents with Ben. i have to say i see him in a different light now.

got home last night. swore id never hate singapore again.

i guess the trip did help in class bonding and all. i did get to know Ryan Goh and Nick Ong alot better...and the rest of the class a little more. although there are a few aspects of the social behavior of my class that i dont wholeheartedly approve of and wouldnt participate it...i wouldnt condemn them like i would have when id met them. God sent me a message last night in the form of a devotional passage...and i guess now i dont have an excuse not to try to get along with them.

maybe friends are who you never thought could be. and who you thought was your friend might not be all they seem.

so i brought nothing back from the trip besides a pair of converses, a busted elbow and tonsilitis. which means i cant do much with my left arm or my voice for awhile. dang it.

this songs been put up here before...but in a different, more bitter light. it used to be an anthem of hate. i listened to it alot during the trip...but i dont wanna say its dedicated to it cus it isnt. its meant so much more to me before that. and maybe i finally see it now as what Bono meant it to be but its always been an anthem. just now its in a different colour.

See the stone set in your eyes
See the thorn twist in your side
I wait for you

Sleight of hand and twist of fate
On a bed of nails she makes me wait
And I wait without you

With or without you
With or without you

Through the storm, we reach the shore
You give it all but I want more
And I'm waiting for you

With or without you
With or without you
I can't live
With or without you

And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you give
And you give
And you give yourself away

My hands are tied, my body bruised
She got me with nothing to win
And nothing else to lose

And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you give
And you give
And you give yourself away

With or without you
With or without you
I can't live
With or without you

We'll shine like stars in the summer night
We'll shine like stars in the winter light
one heart, one hope, one love

With or without you
With or without you
I can't live
With or without you

With or Without You
U2
The Joshua Tree

the last verse there isnt in the studio recording featured. neither was it in the last time i put up these lyrics.

the words of this song kinda represent my initial understanding of the song...and dyed gloomy purple last time they really spoke a message of detest. but that one verse that Bono sang only live on certain occasions showed what he truly knew of the song. it was the reason why he cried out after the second chorus. the reason why he pulled people from the audience and hugged and kissed them onstage. the reason why millions of people across the world were touched by this song.

this song is an anthem. an anthem of love.

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

im feelin a little dark today. must be the rain.

so holday today thanks to the ex-year 6s =) thanks much for the break...i really needed it. and congratulations to all of you who earned the diploma. and to Clement who got the 45 points!! wowwee. hope your futures gonna be bright.

tried out maths today. i really suck at maths. and i guess it doesnt help that i didnt manage to even get to draw a quadratic graph last year. and this year theyre talking about solving simultaneous equations with it. bugger.

assignments are beginning to pile up. dang it Theodore was right...its gonna be a hard year.

been feeling like a jerk lately. i guess in the stress of finding yourself you sometimes lose what you already have. so im sorry if i have been one. its just been hard. things change. people change. people come...and people go. and expectations of yourself from yourself and others are altered. and to adapt sometimes you sacrifice a part of yourself that you didnt think you needed.

when it might have been that aspect of your character that kept you afloat before.

so its really all just confusing now. im around people i really dont know. i dont wanna change.

someone slap me if i do.

She said I feel stranded
And I can't tell anymore
If we coming or I'm going
It's not how I planed it
I've got the key to the door
But it just won't open

And I know, I know, I know
Part of me says let it go
That life happens for a reason
I don't, I don't, I don't
It goes I never went before
But this time, this time
I'm gonna try anything to just feel better

She said I need you to hold me
I'm a little far from the shore
And I'm afraid of sinking
You're the only one who knows me
And who doesn't ignore
That my soul is weeping

I know, I know, I know
Part of me says let it go
Everything must have it seasons
Round and round it goes
And every day's a one before
But this time, this time
I'm gonna try anything to just feels better

Tell me what to do
You know I can't see through the haze around me
And I do anything to just feel better
And I can't find my way
God I need a change
And I do anything to just feel better
Any little thing to just feel better

I'm tired of holding on
To all things I ought to leave behind
It's really getting nowhere
I think I need a little help this time

I'm gonna try anything to just feel better

Tell me what to do
You know I can't see through the haze around me
And I do anything ta just feel better
And I can't find my way
Girl I need a change
And I do anything to just feel better
Any little thing to just feel better

Just Feel Better
Santana (ft. Steven Tyler)
All That I Am

awesome song i heard on the way back to singapore from KL. now i look at it it feels so different. even if it was just less than 2 weeks ago.

ohhh and i need a workout buddy. anyone living near me or can go to tampines gym regularly...?

Sunday, January 06, 2008

week one of 2008.

and whoa man its tiring.

spent the first few school days PSLing the class of 1.12. its potentially a fun class. 2/3 full of idiots and 1/3 full of pretty cool guys. and my group had most of them. heh heh. sorry Joshua.

anyway even after all this i have a few more lessons with them. good i guess...cus i really dont mind some of them there. but the 26 of them have exhausted me just by making me follow them.

great. first week of school and im beat. and this is without the work or the lessons.

went to the downtown east chalet with Darius and the Lams after church today. went on every ride in Escape!! yeahhhh...i feel so accomplished. Daniel ditched me on the viking ship at the last minute then got me to sit on the inverter with him. that rides pretty darn freaky when you see it but when youre on it it isnt so bad. except for that bit where youre upside down in midair. har. i sprayed him good later for abandoning me on my first freaky ride.

came back and tried to do my maths. i am soooo dead this year.

You know you're gonna live through the rain
Lord, you gotta Keep the Faith!!

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

yeahh...its always ironic and pretty hypocritical when someone says that cus they know that deep inside theyre dreading all that this year might bring. including the beginning of the educational year once again.

but yeahh...a new years not all that scary.

so i have a few resolutions...and imma keep them this year. hopefully

1) to put God first. hah im already starting to do that.
2) to be a friend to my friends
3) to be a friend to others
4) to grow my hair back
5) to try to be a good son and brother
6) to work out more. much much more. abs of steel here i come.
7) to continue vocal training on this new voice
8) to take a risk like i did 2 years ago at november.
9) to go back to NPCCsea. =S
10) to stop swearing
11) to try to keep up with the work this year.
12) to thank God for all that He brings my way.

anyway, so as to start fulfilling my last resolution...this post isnt so much for '08 as it is for the year past.

i never really took time to look back on the year before...maybe i really didnt have the time to since it went by so fast. but now that i do all the blessings that ive received over the last 365 days really become evident. all in God's grace.

and i guess thanks are in order...so here they are.

to the class of 2.7...for being the best class ive ever been lucky enough to be in. to each one who made the experience so special!!

to the community of BMC...for being my brothers and sisters in Christ. and to my friends there...new and old. thanks for always being there for me when i just needed someone to talk to. God be with each and every one of you in this new year =)

to the ACSi choir. for singing His praises and not being silent. haha. to my seniors and my friends...both of whom have taught me much in vocal techniques as well as in life lessons.

to my family. who have been...turbulent. but is my family all the same.

to the NPCCsea corps of ACSi...thanks for being so...lenient. i swear ill come back this year.

and lastly...to my Heavenly Father, for seeing me through another year in His loving care.

so heres to you 2007.

I search for You, God of strength
I bow to You, my brokenness
And no other King could ever so humbly come
To save my soul and heal my heart

I pray to You, God of peace
I rest in You, my cares released

I have nothing more
Than all You offer me
There is nothing else
That's of worth to me

I love You, Lord
You rescued me
You are all that I want
You're all I need

In Your freedom I will live
In Your freedom I will live
I offer devotion
I offer devotion

I love You, Lord
You rescued me
You are all that I want
You're all I need

I love You, Lord
You rescued me
You are all that I want
You're all I need

In Your Freedom
Hillsong
Saviour King

yeahhh...i was gonna put up Fall Out Boy's Thriller...but somehow it seemed like i should put this instead.

truly its in His freedom that we live.

but anyway...a reminder, i guess...for me to just keep living each day with Him. and though the title song of this blog wasnt written with that intention in mind...it does suit this situation now.

Whoaaa
We're halfway there
Whoaa-oh
Livin' on a Prayer!!

God bless =)