rasa sayang eh, rasa sayang sayang eh, eh lima nona jaut rasa sayang sayang eh...

that song suddenly came back to my mind...i wish we would do it again some time...

class tests are a week away!! theres really little to study, though...but how am i gonna tell my mom that its less than 5 days until my chinese test without her freaking me out??


today i shall break new ground...ill put up a rap!

You know me,
I used to get caught up in everyday life
Tried to make it through my day so I could sleep at night
Tried to figure out my way through the maze of rights and wrongs,
but like you used to say
Nothing feels like it's really worth it
Forget perfect,
I'm trying not to be worthless
Since I last saw you I been looking for a purpose
Well
I met this kid who thought like I did
He had a weird way of looking at it
This is what he said

Slip out the back before they know you were there
And at the worst you'll see nobody cares
cus you don't wanna be around when it all goes down
Even heroes know when to be scared
Slip out the back before they know you were there
And at the worst you'll see nobody cares
Cus you don't wanna be around when it all goes down
Even heroes know when to be scared

now
I don't remember where I met him or remember his name
But he walked funny like he was just too big for his frame
Just over five foot but he weighed a buck fifty
And what he said just seemed so right it stuck with me
Listen, its like poker
you can play your best
But you got to know when to fold your cards and take a rest
And know when to hold your cards and hold your breath
And hope that nobody else is stacking the deck
because
I don't need to tell you that life isn't fair,
it doesn't care
It arbitrarily cuts off your air,
and like you I want someone to say its okay
But in the truest parts of our hearts everybody's afraid
But just underappreciated and overwhelmed
Fighting so hard to hide our fear that were scaring ourselves
You understand when I'm saying that you always did
But its different in the words of a cowardly kid

Slip out the back before they know you were there
And at the worst you'll see nobody cares
cus you don't wanna be around when it all goes down
Even heroes know when to be scared
Slip out the back before they know you were there
And at the worst you'll see nobody cares
Cus you don't wanna be around when it all goes down
Even heroes know when to be scared

I'm no hero,
you remember how I was, you know
All I ever did was worry, feeling out of control
To the point where everything was going end over end
I'm spinning around in circles again
This is where you come in
All of this to explain to you why
I had to separate myself away from yesterday's life
Please remember
this isn't how I hoped it would be
But I had to protect you from me

Thats why I slipped out the back before you knew I was there
I know you felt unprepared
But every single time I was around I just bring you down
And I could tell that it was time to be scared
Thats why I slipped out the back before you knew I was there
And I know the way I left wasn't fair
I didn't want to be around just to bring you down
I'm not a hero but don't think I didn't care


Slip Out The Back
Fort Minor
The Rising Tied

ubercool song...

ive contracted 4 different sicknesses in a week...woah...at least theyre all gone now.

my grandma just had her op today...hope shes alright.

depressions so familiar now that it doesnt have much of an effect now. i guess when youve had it the worst before you dont hurt as much on lesser things than you used to. this is delayed...but thanks to Zachary for being there when i was super depressed...and thanks to weiwen for cheering me up

ive learnt that sharing your pain makes it all easier...especialy when youre sharing it with people who've went through what youre feeling. or those who are going through it right now...we need support in times when everything else in life is falling apart.

i guess we all have our own personal problems in life...its just how we deal with them that makes all the difference in our lives and the lives of others. i got to learn to choose wisely...

See the stone set in your eyes
See the thorn twist in your side
I wait for you

Sleight of hand and twist of fate
On a bed of nails she makes me wait
And I wait without you

With or without you
With or without you

Through the storm we reach the shore
You give it all but I want more
And I'm waiting for you

My hands are tied
My body bruised
she's got me with
Nothing to win and
Nothing left to lose

And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you give
And you give
And you give yourself away

With or without you
With or without you
I can't live
With or without you

With or Without You
U2
The Joshua Tree / U218 Singles

its all this trying so hard to find that person you want to be thats the toughest. i know who i was, and i know what i want to become...it just doesnt seem to apply in real life.

maybe i am who i am...i wont try to change anymore.


breathe. just breathe. its gonna be alright.

Joseph says i have an accent...i sound perfectly singaporean, okay!!

choirs really packed now...all the new sec 1s and year 5s. Jon Pang from BMC joined too. choir camps in 2 weeks time...right before exams!! im in charge of worship...

nothing to blog about...sigh. my stupid cold wont go away...my voice wont heal until it does!!


2 words just seem to pop into my head today...Bon Jovi

I have walked
all alone
On these streets
I call home
Streets of hope
streets of fear
Through the sidewalk cracks
Time dissapears

I was lost
on my knees
On the eve
of defeat
As i choked
back the tears
There's a silent scream
no one could hear

So far away
from everything
you know it's true
Something inside
that makes you know
what you've got to do

Up the steps
of the church
Through the fields
in the dirt
In the dark
I have seen
That the sun still shines
for the one who believed

So far away
so full of doubt
you needed proof
Just close your eyes
and hear the sound
inside of you

Ring the bells
ring them loud
Let them ring
here and now
Just reach out
and ring
the bells of freedom
When your world's
crashing down
like you've lost
every round
Stand your ground
And ring
the bells of freedom




Bells Of Freedom
Bon Jovi
Have A Nice Day

this song just brings back that heavenly feeling...i miss 2006


Maybe we're all different
but we're still the same
We all got the blood of Eden
running through our veins
I know sometimes it's hard
for you to see
You're caught between just who you are
and who you wanna be

If you feel alone and lost and need a friend
Remember every new beginning
is some beginning's end

When everybody's in,
and you're left out
And you feel your drowning,
in a shadow of a doubt
Everyones a miracle
in their own way
Just listen to yourself,
not what other people say

When it seems you're lost, alone and feeling down
Remember everybody's different
Just take a look around

Be who you want to be
be who you are
Everyones a hero
everyones a star

When you wanna give up
and your hearts about to break
Remember that you're perfect
God makes no mistakes

Welcome
to wherever you are
This is your life,
you made it this far
Welcome,
you gotta believe
right here right now,
you're exactly where you're supposed to be
Welcome
to wherever you are

Welcome To Wherever You Are
Bon Jovi
Have A Nice Day

okay...when i first heard the title i thought it was screwed up...but its really nice...and it provides motivation when you really feel like crumbling.


sore throat, cold, headache...can i not go to school tomorrow...??

just found out my grandma has cancer...first my grandaunt, then her...please pray for her?


at the reservoir just now i was stoning and this person called my name. i turned around and lo and behold, there stood Judy in exercise gear, with head band and all. it took me a few seconds to recognise her...

and more to get over the freaky fact that she lives right next to my block.




Oceans apart
day after day
And I slowly go insane
I hear your voice
on the line
But it doesn't stop the pain

If I see you next to never
How can we say forever

I took for granted,
all the times
That I though would last somehow
I hear the laughter,
I taste the tears
But I can't get near you now

Oh, can't you see it baby
You've got me going crazy

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

Right Here Waiting
Richard Marx
Repeat Offender


this songs...ancient. its by this guy thats now...44 years old...

when Durai first heard it he stared at me like i just said i knew Elvis and went 'that sounds like something my grandma would sing'

Clay covered this song...thats the only reason why i liked it...i put up the original version cus some evil guy took away all of the songs from A Thousand Different Ways off Radioblog!!

its kinda catchy...it was the only song of Clays album i could recognise on the first hear...its one of those songs that everyone has got to have heard before...like I Want It That Way by the Backstreet Boys or Swear It Again by Westlife. its these type of songs...you might not know the title but once you heard the chorus you go OHHHH...that song...

and i hate to admit it, but Richard Marxs original versions nicer...








For all the years that I've known you baby
I can't figure out the reason why lately you've been acting so cold
didn't you say
if there's a problem we should work it out
So why you giving me the cold shoulder now
Like you don't even wanna talk to me girl
tell me
Ok I know I was late again
I made you mad and dinners thrown in
the bin
But why are you making this thing drag on so long
I wanna know
I'm sick and tired of this silly game
silly games
Don't think that I'm the only one here to blame
It's not me here who's been going round slamming doors
That's when you turned and said to me
I don't care who's right or wrong
I just don't love you no more

Rain outside my window pouring down
What now,
your gone,
my fault,
I'm sorry
Feeling like a fool cause I let you down
Now it's,
too late,
to turn it around
I'm sorry for the tears I made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
You made it clear when you said
I just don't love you no more

I know that I made a few mistakes
But never thought that things would turn out this way
Cause I'm missing something now that your gone
I see it all so clearly
Me at the door with you in a state
in a state
Giving my reasons but as you look away
I can see a tear roll down your face
That's when you turned and said to me
I don't care who's right or wrong
I just don't love you no more

Rain outside my window pouring down
What now,
your gone,
my fault,
I'm sorry
Feeling like a fool cause I let you down
Now it's,
too late,
to turn it around
I'm sorry for the tears I made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
You made it clear when you said
I just don't love you no more

Don't say those words it's so hard
They turn my whole world upside down
Girl you caught me completely off guard
On the night you said to me
I just don't love you more

Rain outside my window pouring down
What now,
your gone,
my fault,
I'm sorry
Feeling like a fool cause I let you down
Now it's,
too late,
to turn it around
I'm sorry for the tears I made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
You made it clear when you said

I just don't love you no more

Don't Love You No More (I'm Sorry)
Craig David
The Story Goes On


maybe i've convinced myself
i've really been in love
and i've been wrong
all along

for all i know the feeling and the picture
that i've tried
so hard to find
isn't mine

could be
its all just a waiting game
wanna share my everything

and on my own
its hard to tell my heart it will be alright
this love it holds
will one day find a home
as hard as love can be
its harder still it seems
to be a lover all alone
without love

picking up the pieces
makes me wonder if
i only build it all
to watch it fall
the faster it can go away
it means the less of me
is gone to stay
i'm ok

but lonesome
tomorrow comes anyway
i'm alone for another day
another day

and on my own
its hard to tell my heart it will be alright
that this love it holds
will one day find a home
as hard as love can be
its harder still it seems
to be a lover all alone
without love

and on my own
its hard to tell my heart it will be alright
that this love it holds
will one day find a home
as hard as love can be
its harder still it seems
to be a lover all alone
without love
a lover all alone...

without love

maybe i've convinced myself
i've really been in love
but i've been wrong
all along


Lover All Alone
Clay Aiken
A Thousand Different Ways


i dont know why im like this.
will time heal?
cus if it doesnt then time wont go on for me


- broken hearts will never mend




the skin now works. i guess it makes better sense now

When I look into your eyes
theres nothing there to see
Nothing but my own mistakes
staring back at me
I've lied to you
The same way that I always do
This is the last smile
That I'll fake for the sake of being with you
Everything falls apart
Even the people who never frown
Eventually break down
The sacrifice of hiding in a lie
Everything has to end
You'll soon find we're out of time left
To watch it all unwind
The sacrifice is never knowing
Why I never walked away
Why I played myself this way
Now I see you're testing me pushes me away
Why I never walked away
Why I played myself this way
Now I see your testing me pushes me away
Reverse psychology
is failing miserably
Its so hard to be
left all alone
Telling you is the
only chance for me
There is nothing left but
to turn and face you
When I look into your eyes
theres nothing there to see
Nothing but my own mistakes
staring back at me
asking why
Why I stay
When you just push away
No matter what you see
Youre still so blind to me
We're all out of time
This is how we find how it all unwinds
The sacrifice of hiding in a lie
We're all out of time
This is how we find how it all unwinds
The sacrifice is never knowing
Why I never walked away
Why I played myself this way
Now I see
you're testing me
pushes me away
Why I never walked away
Why I played myself this way
Now I see you're testing me
pushes me away



Pushing Me Away / Pushing Me Away Remix
Linkin Park
Hybrid Theory / Reanimation

schools so slack now...all the teachers are away in china or malaysia.

OEP trips been delayed to either after exams, march holidays or year-end holidays. or a refund. ill take after exams or refund...theres no way im cutting into my holidays for Desaru.


LIANG CHEW MAN!!! 5CM!!!



finished Josephs Samurai X stuff...it was so cool!! but hes right...now im dead bored.


mmm...the only one that kept me company this lonely evening...



How I wish I could
surrender my soul
Shed the clothes that become my skin
See the liar that burns within my needing

How I wish I'd chosen
darkness from cold
How I wish I had screamed out loud
Instead I've found no meaning.

How I wish I could walk through
the doors of my mind
Hold memory close at hand
Help me understand the years

How I wish I could choose between
Heaven and Hell
How I wish I would save my soul
I'm so cold from fear

I guess it's time I run
far far away
find comfort in pain
All pleasure's the same
it just keeps me from trouble
Hides my true shape
like Dorian Gray
I've heard what they say
but I'm not here for trouble
It's more than just words
it's just tears and rain

Far far away
find comfort in pain
All pleasure's the same
it just keeps me from trouble
It's more than just words


it's just tears and rain


- Tears And Rain -
James Blunt
Back To Bedlam

beautiful song.


i used to think i had everything i needed...but right now i feel really empty. its easy to go from extremes when your everything is determined by one factor, i guess.




OEP tomorrow...Desaru for 5 days. nothing but beaches beaches beaches...im not sure im so enthu about going anymore...

i had to miss Fusion...hope i can go next year.





a new year resolution to add: i must try to relate to guys more


U2!!!! thanks so much Rebecca and Evan for the CDs!!

now ive got a massive collection of their songs. im stuck on them...


Is it getting better
Or do you feel the same?
Will it make it easier on you now
You got someone to blame?

You say
One love
One life
It's one need in the night
One love
get to share it
Leaves you darling
if you don't care for it

Did I disappoint you?
Or leave a bad taste in your mouth?
You act like you never had love
And you want me to go without
Well it's too late,
tonight
To drag the past out into the light
We're one,
but we're not the same
We get to carry each other
Carry each other

Have you come here for forgiveness?
Have you come to raise the dead?
Have you come here to play Jesus
To the lepers in your head?

Well, did I ask too much,
more than a lot?
You gave me nothing, now it's all I got
We're one, but we're not the same
Well we, hurt each other
Then we do it again

You say
Love is a temple
Love is a higher law
Love is a temple
Love is the higher law
You ask me to enter
Well then you make me crawl
And I can't be holding on
To what you got
When all you got is hurt

One love
One blood
One life
You got to do what you should
One life
With each other
Sisters and my
Brothers
One life
But we're not the same
We get to
Carry each other
Carry each other
One...
One love...




- One -
U2
Atchung Baby (1991)

the version there has Mary J Blige in it too but the original ones by U2. its such a great song!!

schools tomorrow again...sigh.

5 days of 7.30-2.40 in a classroom watching various teachers preach the gospel of sciences, maths and language arts...

why didnt i appreciate the holidays when i had them???

so sad i cant go for Fusion...stupid Desaru trip

back from school again!! sigh...

Junyi saved a seat for me in class today =). im around all the ex-1.6 boys. touches of the past...and Mr Phees my CT again!! this years beginning to look so much like '06...

except with Yugeraj/Yugaraj.


then there was the briefing for the OEP...Desaru looks pretty cool. even though the floors of the hotel rooms are carpetless. there are really nice beaches there. sun, sand, sea. and hermit crabs. cant wait!! just so sad that it wastes a weekend...

everythings back to routine...well...hope this year will be slightly more interesting...


Under your spell again
I can't say no to you
crave my heart and its bleeding in your hand
I can't say no to you

Shouldn't have let you torture me so sweetly
now I can't let go of this dream
I can't breathe but I feel

Good enough
I feel good enough for you

Drink up sweet decadence
I can't say no to you
and I've completely lost myself
and I don't mind
I can't say no to you

Shouldn't have let you conquer me completely
now I can't let go of this dream
can't believe that I feel

Good enough
I feel good enough
its been such a long time coming,
but I feel good

And I'm still waiting for the rain to fall
pour real life down on me
cus I can't hold on to anything this good enough

...am I good enough
for you to love me too...?

so take care what you ask of me
cus I can't say no

- Good Enough -
Evanescence
The Open Door



this song was written for Narnia...weirdly enough...but it wasnt put into the film

its a pretty cool song...intoxicating...its one song that really stands out from the rest in the album...

...mainly cus it isnt a loud one
















the Clay banners so cool!! sigh...

felt so...weird yesterday that i forgot to put up my new years resolutions...well, here they are...my belated resolutions for '07:

to put God first in my life
to be the best person i can be...for myself and those whom i care about
to be a good friend to my friends, a good brother to my brother and sister and a good son to my mom
to go on a mission trip
to take up a sport (mmm...basketball...??)
to keep my commitments to people and causes i have commited to
to study hard for grades worthy of IB...whether i choose to carry on in it is a decision for a later time
to pay attention in the following classes: geog, CHINESE, PSci, LSci
to eat a snail!
to be more open-minded about games...sigh...yeah
to complete the new year resolutions from last year:
* to lose weight
* to cherish what i have
to have a GREAT 2007!!


thats got to be the longest list ive ever made...

going out with Ben again later...*sniff*...last day of the holidays...

my blog
since september '06 =)
livin on a prayer!

marcus.
14: 12/5
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Lost in Wonder
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